They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
