I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
