Its about making memories worth repressing
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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