I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
