sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
