Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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