Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
