Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
