end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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