I didn't shave. On purpose
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
