oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
