Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
