i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
