HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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