there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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