hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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