Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
