It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
