oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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