I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
