Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
