Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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