There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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