dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
