i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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