I can text with my tongue
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
