Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We have started to decorate penises.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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