In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
