You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
