this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Come see our sink grown plant.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
