sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hippo gnu deer
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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