Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
