im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
