I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
