Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
