I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Bring me that man meat
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
