jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
