matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
