Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
