At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
false alarm, still single
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