I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
