My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
