I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
