FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
