I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
