I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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