went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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