Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
