The maid of honor just puked.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
