you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
