I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
