evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
