I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
